Sunday, November 6, 2011

Ultrasound

I'm in San Francisco teaching self defense this weekend, so this is going to be very brief...
We had our 20 week ultrasound on Wednesday. Everything looks the way it's supposed to, and where it's supposed to be. They won't actually say normal ,because the doc doesn't like the word "normal" , apparently.
Everything is as expected for 20 weeks, and there are no structural abnormalities (quoting the doc there).
We chose not to see the sex. It's not noted in the report either, so now the only way to find out is to do another ultrasound, or wait until the little critter shows up.
Kate asked me to come up with a better working title, by the way. Since I'm still pretty certain that this baby is a girl and I know that if it is she's likely to push both of us in some different ways as far as our comfort zone goes (neither of us do pink frilly, and all the little girls we know really do, in spite of the parents not doing that). So to get used to that sort of gig, the working title for this baby is Rufflebutt.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Correction

Kate has pointed out to me that she no longer is hoping for a boy. Now she's just hopping for a healthy baby, and she's explicitly hoping for either one (which is pretty much guaranteed as far as I know).
Also, the checkup that Kate had a few weeks ago was a Doppler, not an Ultrasound.
We have the twenty week Ultrasound on Wednesday. That's the one where we could learn the sex, but I'm pretty sure that we're not going to.
Sam made it down the children's museum slide today, he had help at both ends, but still. That's a challenging slide cause it goes really fast.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Slides and Petrie Dishes

Kate had an ultra-sound a couple of weeks ago. Everything is looking good so far. We're getting close to the point where we could learn the sex of the new baby. I'm pretty sure that we're not going to.
Kate wants another son. I'm still pretty certain that this one's a girl, cause this one has been so different than with Sam.
By different, of course, I mean that Kate's been way sicker. Though the fact is that I'm beginning to suspect that a good chunk of Kate's sicker pregnancy may (only may) have more to do with Sam's daycare than with pregnancy stuff.
We haven't had another bad incident like last month, nothing requiring hospitalization. On the other hand, his nose has been running like a faucet for the last four weeks. It doesn't seem to be bothering him much, other than the fact that he doesn't like having his nose wiped.
Whenever we do it he announces "Yucky".
He came home sick today, with a fever and diarrhea. He seemed fine after I got him home, but he's banned until he goes 24 hours without diarrhea. Hopefully he makes it tomorrow.
Of course, everything he picks up there comes home. That may be where Kate is getting it.
A couple of weeks ago Kate mentioned to his teacher how surprising it is that she's not sick being surrounded by toddlers all day. The teacher's response?
"I *am* sick."
Sam's major accomplishment in the last month has been going down the slide by himself.
We've been working up to this for the last several weeks.
It started with him going down the slide in my lap. He still does that with the big tornado slides or the really tall steep ones, but he can do the little slides by himself now.
I'm hoping that he works up to the tornado slides pretty quick, because most of them are barely wide enough for me (and by me, of course, I mean my ass).
We're now up to lots of words. We've recently added:
Goat (coat)
Gogurt (yogurt)
Peas (peas)
Peas (please)
Doggy
Bee (any bug is a bee)
Mik (milk)
He's also beginning to use a spoon. If we have time, like on a weekend, I feed him and he feeds himself.
The architect comes tomorrow to draw up plans to build out our attic to make a second floor. With any luck it will be almost done by the time the baby gets here.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Parenting Callouses

We took Sam back to the ER on Sunday afternoon, and he ended up staying at the hospital over night.
He's home now, and recovering pretty well.
The steroid that they gave him Thursday wore off, and his croup came back with a vengeance. We brought him over to our friends Brian and Theresa's house, they have a screened in porch where he could sit in the cold and not get rained on.
So we hung out there for a while, I made french toast and two pounds of Jordandal farms bacon (best bacon ever). Sam ate an entire piece of french toast. He doesn't like bacon, but we're assuming he'll grow out of that. Besides, I don't mind not sharing my bacon with him.
So he was clearly feeling better. When we got him home around naptime though everything went to hell. Couldn't breath easily, lots of barking cough. Back to the ER we go.
They gave him nebulized Albuterol, which didn't seem to do anything at all, and then three treatments of nebulized epinephrine. That helped some. They also gave him another dose of steroids. They decided to keep him because it takes six hours for the steroids to ramp up and if he was in the hospital then they could give him more respiratory therapy as needed until the steroids kicked in. Kate stayed with him, I came home and went back at seven Monday morning.
They let him go Monday afternoon. He developed an ear infection along the way, so now he's taking antibiotics. In general his mood remains upbeat and he's pretty cheerful.
He was getting crabby by the end of the hospital stay, but as he was in isolation there, so they wouldn't let him out of his room and everyone but Kate and I had to be fully gowned and masked when they were in there, I think he did better than should be expected. He got pretty bored by the end, and we're pretty annoyed with the hospital staff for not getting the TV fixed (that would have been helpful), but the important thing is that he seems to be getting better. His ears are bugging him, but hopefully the antibiotic will clear that up shortly. He's draining nasty green crap out of his nose, but at least it's getting out of his system.
I'm getting my parenting callouses. I made it through the whole thing without feeling like I needed to hit anybody, or even be intimidating. I'm not sure the same can be said for Kate, but then she got to stay overnight at the hospital, if I had done that I might feel differently. I think the parenting callouses are good. I doubt I'll get used to seeing my kid sick or not feeling well, but hopefully we'll get better at functioning on his behalf in spite of that.

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Monetize the blog?

I'm considering doing this. As far as I can tell, Google would place ads in the margins of the blog, and then I get paid when people click the ads.
The money would go into Sam and NB daycare and college fund.
I'm struggling with this one. It doesn't feel right, on the one hand, on the other hand, it doesn't cost anyone anything except the advertisers.
If anyone has an opinion please leave a comment.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Ultrasound & the shitty part of parenting.

We had our 13 week ultrasound Wednesday. That's the one where there's testing done to see if there are conditions that are predictors for downs. With Sam they measured the thickness of the skin at the back of his neck, which they did again this time. If it's 3 or more units of measurement (I think they're millimeters) then the kid has a higher risk of downs. They did that again, but they also look for the nasal bone now. I guess the nasal bone must develop later in kids with downs. Anyhow, since this kid has Nessel genes, the nasal bone is already quite prominent. No worries there. The skin (I think it's called the nucal fold, I'm sure that's misspelled, and maybe incorrect altogether) pretty consistently measured 1.4 or so, so that's good too.
Kate initially didn't want to do this testing this time. After discussing it though, we agreed that given our relatively advanced years for beginning parenting we should. If the child is a special needs child of some variety that's going to be a life changing thing for Sam as well as us, and we won't be around as long as the norm to be responsible for it. In any case, this particular flavor of special needs is not looking as likely, though the tests aren't perfect.
So, so far the new one is coming along quite nicely.
You've probably noticed that I haven't given New Baby a working name yet. Kate and I are not in synch on names right now.
If NB is a girl, I want to name her Ella.
So that we have Sam and Ella (say it quickly).
If it's a boy, I'm pulling for Moose (same idea).
Not surprisingly, Kate is not on board with this plan. To her credit though, she hasn't asked me even once if I'm joking. She knows I'm not.
So, no working title yet, for now I'll use NB.

Before going any further, I need to preface the rest of this by saying up front that everything worked out so far, and everyone is relatively fine.

We had our first trip to the ER last night.
Sam picked up croup at daycare. Evidently the entire population of Madison, WI under the age of 2 is croupy this week. So, Sam got it too.
He was a bit wheezy and coughing after coming home yesterday, but not awful. The fun really started about a half hour after we put him to bed.
At 7:30 it started sounding like Spenser was in Sam's room. Except that Spenser was with us, and he's the only dog we have, so we couldn't figure out who was barking over the monitor. It really sounded like a barking dog. It wasn't, it was Sam.
Kate had called the doctor's office yesterday to find out what to do if this happened, so she fired up the shower on super hot and sat with him in the bathroom to let him steam. I called the on-call doc. The on-call doc suggested taking him outside because the colder night air can reduce inflamation in their throat and airways.
Fifteen minutes of steaming him didn't help (though he's now wrinkle-free), so we took him outside and sat on the front stoop for fifteen minutes. That helped until we brought him back in. As soon as we got back in the house everything went to hell. The scary part (or the first one anyhow) was how quickly it spiraled. He was coughing and wheezing and clearly struggling to breath.
So, we bundled him up and headed for the urgent care.
At the urgent care they took one look at him and bypassed the waiting area and got us into a room right away.
The urgent care did Albuterol, Tylenol, a steroid, and epinephrine. Then they called an ambulance to take him to the UW Children's hospital ER. Kate rode in the ambulance and I followed in the car. They went lights and sirens to the ER, which of course, I can't do.
The ambulance guy likely drove faster than Kate does regularly, which is unusual.
To begin with, I can't say enough good stuff right now about the staff at both facilities. At Children's, by the time I had the car parked Kate and Sam were in a room with three nurses and a doctor already there.
They gave him another epinephrine treatment, and then we just had to wait and see if it took. We got out of there at midnight.
So, I'm home with Sam today. He's a lot better. Not 100%, but better. He's pretty exhausted, so he's napping right now. I took him out to get some stuff at Target (he likes to ride the escalator), and I was going to take him to a playground, but he was falling asleep in the car on the way there.
On the whole this was a good experience, and it completely sucked.
Kate thought I was going to do something violent for a while. It occurred to me, but of course, I didn't.
I don't like feeling helpless (nobody does) and it makes me want to break things. Stress is what happens when your better judgement prevents you from breaking things when you want to.
What's particularly frustrating is that Kate is a medical professional. It's Veterinary Medicine, but the language is the same. So she can speak to Sam's healthcare providers in their language.
I don't understand most of it, so I sit there while this conversation that may as well be in Martian goes on around me.
To be clear, I'm glad Kate can do this, I don't resent it, and it's a good thing. She always translates for me afterwards, but it's hard to translate and speak to the docs at the same time. So, it's not a bad thing, but it does add to my frustration quite a bit not being able to participate in that conversation. I suppose I could grunt and scratch myself somewhere inappropriate, but hat would mostly just be distracting.
So, again, today everything is fine, or on the way there.
But that was absolutely a shitty night.
Given how many visits to the ER I made as a kid (more than I can count), and evidently Kate spent a lot of time there as well growing up, we have more of that to look forward to.
Yay.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Day Care

So, here's the daycare update as promised.
Daycare is way harder on me and Kate than on Sam. I take him there in the morning, and pick him up on Monday and Tuesday. Kate picks him up the other days.
I need to preface everything from here on with an up-front disclaimer:
This is, by all accounts, reviews, and objective standards, an excellent daycare facility. Nothing I say should be construed as dissatisfaction with the daycare, unless explicitly indicated.

Daycare sucks.

Tuesday morning was his first day. We got him up, fed him, dressed him, and he and I drove off to the Learning Gardens, which is about a seven minute drive from our house in the opposite direction of my job.
Kate's been taking him there on Fridays for the last several weeks to get him acclimated to the place, so Tuesday wasn't his first time there.
So, we got someone to fob us in (I didn't have my fob yet), and I took him to the Teddy Bear room, which is his classroom assignment.
The Teddy Bear room looks about how you'd expect. Lots of toys and books and little person scale tables and chairs and such. I put him down and he went off to investigate something while the teacher and I got his stuff situated in his bin.
Then I went over to the office to drop off paperwork.
Then I fucked up.
I should have left after dropping off the paperwork.
I didn't.
I went back to make sure he was doing okay.
To quote my close friend and partner in crime, Rob (if you're reading this, sorry I haven't got back to you in a while):
Stupid Stupid Stupid.
He was doing fine until he saw me, then he came running over to me to be picked up, which of course, I did.
Stupid Stupid Stupid.
So I spent the next twenty minutes or so trying to get out of there, by which I mean holding him until he got interested enough in something to ask to be let down (by ask I mean squirm), and then working my way towards the door while he was engaged in whatever it was until he noticed me and then came running again.
Then repeat.
Eventually his teacher intercepted him on one of his dashes and I snuck out.
Snuck out on my kid.
Now, to be reveal more about myself than I normally do in this thing (Mom, I'm about to describe, in not-very-much-detail, stuff that fits into the category of things you don't want to know about me), I have broken furniture or glassware over the heads of complete strangers in bar fights (but never both at once - I have limits) and walked away without even giving it a second thought, let alone feeling guilty about it in the least.
I felt, and feel, completely shitty about sneaking out of daycare on my kid, and leaving him in the care of highly trained (not to mention expensive) professionals who can and do provide him with experiences and opportunities for learning and growth that I can't. What's he going to do otherwise? Be strapped into a car seat behind me all day while I run around doing day to day stuff?
Or accompany me to work and sit around all day observing the never-ending excitement of the world of IT personnel management?
No.
He's much better off at Learning Gardens. I know that. I'm even more than pretty sure about it. I still feel guilty as hell about Tuesday. I haven't even addressed yesterday and today yet, and I have to do it again tomorrow.
When I got to work Tuesday I had a meeting with my friend Jeannine, who gave me an unsolicited hug that I very much needed (tough guy that I am), and for which I'm grateful.
We're IT people. We don't normally do that.

Anyhow...
He's doing very well there. He evidently thinks the girls are ridiculous, but I'm assured that they really are (by the teachers). He's not crying much at all after I leave. The changing table upsets him, I guess, but he's getting adjusted to it. The food is great. The chef (yep, I said chef) is evidently from one of our high end restaurants here in Madison, who wanted to get into a lower pressure environment than high end restaurants. The food is covered in his tuition. The menus are actually absurd - lunch today was baked ziti with sausage and green vegetables. Kate got one of her fresh baked lemon poppy seed muffins yesterday and said it was incredible. That was snack yesterday. He's going to be pretty disappointed when he starts public school and gets the sandwich of his choice (turkey, tuna, peanut butter, or any combination of those three) and maybe some pretzels.
He's getting adjusted to the nap schedule, and he's interacting with other kids, and he's doing it well, which was the whole point.
Daycare still sucks.