The Ultrasound (pt.1)

The mistake that I made at the last ultrasound was in the realm of poker face.
Generally, I have a pretty good poker face, but I blew it at the last ultrasound.
We got there, and were brought into the room, and were waiting for the technician to come in, and Kate says to me "I think this might be an internal ultrasound."
"Ok."
She looked like she was about to say something else, but the tech walked in at that moment.
The tech says something about this being an internal ultrasound, and gives Kate a sheet and directs her towards the adjacent bathroom.
Kate goes into the bathroom, and comes out with the sheet wrapped around her lower half.
I go into the bathroom, not really out of solidarity so much as that I just have to pee. I come out the same as I went in.
Kate's sitting in the chair with the stirrups, and I'm sitting on the little stool next to the chair resisting the urge to spin around.
The tech pulls out this - thing.
I'm trying to think of an analogy for the thing.
I've been trying to think of it since this happened three or four weeks ago. The best analogy that I can come up with is this thing was something that I might have imagined if I were to be asked to describe something that I'd want nowhere within my field of view concurrent to hearing the word "insert".
The best visual I can come up with is microphone (which is technically sort of what the thing is, I think), but not a modern wireless clip to your ear Brittney Spears Pepsi commercial microphone. More of a late-seventies to early-eighties big hair heavy metal band sort of microphone. This is where I evidently lost my [normally excellent] poker face.
The tech sterilizes the thing, hands it to Kate and says please insert this.
Kate tells me "Stay up here by my head." and then does as the tech asks. From there the tech takes over and we got to see the baby, and see that the baby was progressing normally for seven weeks, and isn't ektopic, and has a heartbeat, ect...
The tech gets done and leaves the room and Kate turns to me and says "Don't ever make a face like that again ever during this entire pregnancy. That's not supportive."
"Uh, okay. Sorry."
"I told you this was going to be an internal ultrasound. Why do you think I told you?"
In my defense, I had no idea what an internal ultrasound meant. I know, that's why she told me, but still...
"It would be much better from now on, if you just smile and sort of convey 'No big deal. I could do this.'".
"I'm pretty sure you don't want me ever conveying that I think I could do this."
She thought about that one for a second. "You're right," she said, "don't convey that. But don't ever make that face again either."

We're having the next one in about five and a half hours. I'm going through all my routine pre-fight stuff right now so that I don't make the face again. Come to think of it, I don't know if this one is internal or not, but just in case...

What sucks about pregnancy is that we're working pretty hard to do everything right. Kate's doing most of the work, of course, but we're both focused on it. We're both acutely aware of the fact that while the most likely thing to happen is that this ultrasound will show us that everything is continuing to proceed normally, it might not be. Doing everything right doesn't guarantee it, it only bumps the odds. Of course, this is something that I've known in other contexts for my whole life.
It still sucks.
Five hours and twenty minutes to go...